Why am I finding it so difficult to cut back?

pensive lady looking away while thinking on project

Many of the women who reach out to me for help with their drinking ask why they are finding it so difficult to cut back or quit.

By the time they contact me they have tried to moderate, or stop altogether, and have been shocked at how difficult it has been.

“Sure, I’m drinking more than I should but I’m not an alcoholic,” they tell me.

“Why is this so hard?”

And the sad thing is that whenever someone shares this with me they feel that there is something wrong with them.

They think that everyone around them can either control their drinking or is not worried about it.

What you need to know

If any of this rings true, I want to clear up a few things.

It’s what I tell my clients and what I wish I had known when I was struggling to cut back:

1. You are not alone

    If you think there is some sort of character flaw unique to you, let me reassure you that you are not alone.

    In fact, the way you are feeling is more common than you think.

    It’s just that people don’t talk about it.

    How do I know?

    Because as an alcohol coach, and someone who went through this myself, I hear this every day and most people don’t share what they’re going through with those around them.

    2. It’s not your fault

      Alcohol is a drug and it’s addictive.

      Yep – I know that’s not the way alcohol companies market their products but let’s cut the BS here!

      The way it works in our brains and bodies can be slow and insidious until one day we turn around and ask: “Hang on, how did I get here?”.

      If you want to understand some of the reasons why it’s hard to moderate, my free guide –  Four reasons why moderation is so difficult – provides more info on why this happens.

      3. There is a solution that doesn’t involve ‘one day at a time’

        Most people try to cut back or quit by using willpower.

        Willpower is a finite resource and no matter how well-intentioned you may be, it’s hard to change a habit (particularly with an addictive substance such as alcohol) by depriving yourself day in, day out.

        Whenever I’ve been on a diet that has restricted certain foods, all I can think of are the foods that I’m not ‘allowed’ to have.

        ​​It’s a similar principle – the more I restricted how much I drank, the more I wanted a glass of wine.

        The approach that I used that helped me to change the way that I drank – and the one I now use with my clients – is based on three key things:

        • Mindset change (this is working on deep-seated beliefs that are keeping you stuck)
        • Putting strategies and tools in place to achieve your goal
        • Understanding how alcohol works in our bodies and minds
        Want to know more?

        If you want to know more about coaching, you can book in for a free 30-minute discussion call.

        In this call I explain in more detail how this method works and answer any questions you may have.

        This is truly an obligation-free call – I only coach people who really want to work with me so, if you decide it’s not for you, that’s cool.

        At least you’ve had a free mini-coaching session!

        If you’re interested, click here to book: https://inspiredtochange.as.me/discussioncall

        If you want to know more about what coaching involves, click here to read the answers to the most frequently asked questions I receive.

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